Ten years have gone right by my eyes, and I am sitting here with mixed feelings. I had been yearning for a good year for a long time, and I have to say, this year has been a very good one. As I backtrack, I am trying to decipher what has made this the best year thus far.
To start off, this is the year I took full control of Scleroderma. Scleroderma did not take over my life like in the past years. I am so happy to say I had no hospitalizations nor flare-ups that I couldn’t handle. I learned the hard way, but I never forget to carry a sweater, pack hand warmers, or gloves to avoid finger ulcers. I listen to my body closely, and if I felt exhausted, I rested. If I needed help, I asked for help. But, most importantly, I learned to say “no” when I couldn’t do something.
As I reflect on this last day of the decade, I realized I finally accepted Scleroderma (with everything that comes with it) as part of me. I am not scared anymore.
For twenty years, I lived assuming my life was going to be cut short. I obsessively read everything about this incurable disease I have, and I was scared to death. Without realizing it, I was living on the edge. I was focused on my physical changes, my weaknesses and nothing else.
In 2019, I learned to applaud my little successes. This year I measured my successes differently and did not have unrealistic expectations. I still had those bad days where I had no energy to do anything and I will continue to have them as a reminder of my illness.
By mid year, I found the best supportive community. I was ready to share my past and present journey as a single mom with a chronic illness. Through social media, I met and learned from many warriors. I have made great connections with many by reading relatable stories, inspiring stories as well as product recommendations that have made my life easier. Joining this community has inspired me to keep moving along through life’s obstacles.
I am excited to start a new decade. I have gathered the tools and strength I need to take on 2020. I am ready to take on the good, the bad and the ugly with a positive attitude.